Murphy's Bye-Laws

Law #4: Any Fool Can Make A Rule and Any Fool Will Mind It. –H.D. Thoreau

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Sacred Cow Tipping

Posted by PintofStout on April 28th, 2011

(Another half-thought from the Drafts folder. I tried to wrestle it into coherence, but now I just smell like cow shit. Damn.)


I’ve often uttered the phrase “like a deck chair blowing off of the Queen Mary” to show the underwhelming nature of some change. This phrase comes to mind again when hearing about the reduction or elimination of funding for public broadcasting while spending money on wars and corporate bail-outs and [you name it]…like drunken sailors. Any cut in budget is going to get a rise out of whoever is losing that money, whether it be your local zoo’s librarian or the in-house commando employed by your local kindergarten. On the Queen Mary scale of things, these cuts are mere shouted farewells to the pier that aspire to be deck chairs. Yes, they are simply rhetoric, but effective rhetoric.

As an anarchist I believe the government has zero legitimate money to spend to begin with. If this round of conservative budgetary propaganda is akin to striking a few typos and misplaced commas, they’re missing the volumes and volumes of other spending sitting right in front of them on the shelves of this library of reckless fiscal indulgence.  As an anarchist, I want to skip the meaningless proofreading and burn down the whole fucking library.  And it isn’t as if some of the writing within these pages isn’t worth keeping. (Am I still in metaphor here? O.K.).  The ideas of some of these programs…er…texts are very noble and even useful, but they’ve been written by obfuscating idiotocrats who rob the ideas of merit simply by including them in this library. Who can argue against education or health care? Only monsters who wish to do everyone else harm, right? Good ideas can be executed poorly, though. Governments, in general, have been demonstrating this for centuries.

The unthinkable size of the government money machine guarantees that any pittance cut from this budget will be eaten up by the pigs of war or populace control. If they cut funds to public broadcasting, or even transportation and education, our tax bills would not change, which is sort of the premise used in all of this. So, while in principle I can applaud the cutting of funding to public broadcasting, of which I am a fan (both of the cuts and the programming), I can’t take this as any kind of moral victory. Moral victory is impossible in our Inception-ish monetary system. While our prole money is kind of hard and of zero-sum nature, the political class money is whatever they can make the other person believe it is. So if we spend 99% of our income on booze, that leaves 1% of our income for food; if the political class decides to spend 50% of their money on hookers, they still have 300% of their income to spend on blow.

What these proposed cuts amount to are republican dimwits running drunk through the budgetary fields in search of liberal sacred cows to tip. In the end the sacred cow and its owners are annoyed and the hooligans end up with a headache and cow shit on their shoes; nobody’s tax bill will be reduced, the deficit will continue to grow because nobody in government ever figured out how to do arithmetic with someone else’s money, money will continue to vaporize into bombs over far away lands we have no business bombing, and the carpetbaggers providing these bombs and the cash-induced morality to justify it are still getting paid from the infinite hooker-and-blow fund.

One Response to “Sacred Cow Tipping”

  1. scott huminski Says:

    U.S. Police State Target (rock music video) Released
    Anti U.S. Police State Musician/activist, Scott Huminski, releases his 6th rock video with his band Scott X and the Constitution Commandos.


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